Saying a Goodbye is the Hardest Thing Ever

Hello again followers!

I am going to be going up to Portland tomorrow for my last Beavers game of the season. Hopefully the rain will hold off and I'll get to see the Beavos for one more time before the end of the season.

A lot of you have been contacting me as to how I'm doing after Thursday's events at Civic Stadium. To put it mildly, it has been very, very difficult for me these past 48 hours. I have cried a lot and I have been super depressed. I haven't been sleeping a lot, and my mind has been racing through waves of anguish, depression, anger, vengeance, and confusion. I'm at such such a critical crossroads in my life, and this situation isn't helping with my coping. My family has been doing a wonderful job in helping me through this very difficult event, and I know that these deep feelings will eventually subside. This blog is helping me write down and vent a lot of my feelings, so I hope you all don't mind.

My mom gave me an excellent idea that I will start tomorrow. She has created a sort of journal listing every memory she has had from Civic. I'm going to do the same. I know I said I would make a tribute video, but I think this is a little more personal. I also think that it will help in my healing.

I deeply appreciate all of your support during all of this. I would not be able to keep going without all of the love and support from all of you, my family and friends. This whole thing is bigger than the game of baseball, and I am deeply grateful for all that you have done for me.

Always take on a 3-0 pitch ;)

A Final Goodbye to an Old Friend

Hello Boys and Girls!

This has been probably the saddest day of my life. I went to my final game at Civic Stadium this afternoon. It was a very somber, bittersweet, and emotional day that has been filled with a lot of reflection, tears, and memories. I'm just going to run through what happened today at the park and try and keep my emotions in check.

I got to the park shortly after my last posting. When I got to the park and clocked in for my day at work, I noticed that a bunch of my co-workers were gathered in our food disbursement center talking about the memories we have had. The Assistant Director of Concessions is just finishing up his first year here at the park, and he didn't grasp the enormity of the occasion today. Interestingly enough, he referred to Civic as the "shit-hole" and he was glad to leave. Our main grill cook responded with this: "It may be a 'shit-hole', but it is our 'shit-hole'!" This literally brought a tear to my eye. We realize that Civic was falling apart, but we had a sense of ownership in it. We had put so much work and sweat into this park that we all felt, myself especially, that it had become a sort of child or sibling to the staff here.

About 30 minutes before the first pitch, the Ems management held a small ceremony behind home plate. The President of the organization, the Ems manager, and a few other people got up and said a few words about Civic and the fans. The most interesting part of the entire ceremony was when the Assistant GM, Bryan Beban, said that this was the final game at Civic, and everyone in attendance booed. It was a reflection of how the community feels about all of this.

As my picnic wore down, I was hit with the realization that this was the last time I was going to work on the VIP Deck. It was the last time I would fire up a grill or cook a hot dog in the name of Civic Stadium. I borrowed a Sharpie pen from a friend, and behind the grill on the wall, I left my mark saying "A.J. was here VIP Grill Cook 2003-2009".

The Ems ended up dropping another heart breaker to Salem-Keizer 5-3. The final out was an Edinson Rincon ground out to third base.

After the game, all the fans were allowed on the field to mingle and reminisce. A bagpipe band played Amazing Grace, and that was when I started to lose it. I began tearing up and my eyes were welling up. I had to put on my sunglasses so that people wouldn't see me.

I went onto the field and wandered for over an hour. I got many pictures with people I had become close to at the park. I took a lot of pictures of the grandstand, scoreboard, and field. People had ripped up clogs of grass from all over the infield, stolen bulbs out of the scoreboard, and pulled down billboards and banners that lined the outfield wall. It was a sad sight to see such destruction, but it was also heart warming in a way. People were so intent on keeping some sort of memento from the park that they would have done anything.

I walked out off of the field and took one more look around. This is where I grew up. The memories I had there flowed through my mind almost in an instant. It was one of those moments when your life flashes before your eyes.

I'm going to miss that place immensely. My entire outlook on life has changed because of what has happened. Today, I left a home that had been with me all of my life. I will never forget the memories I had there and I will pass on the stories and experiences gained there to my children and grand-children until I die.

Always take on a 3-0 pitch ;)

The Day of Days

Hey Everyone!

Well, the day is here. The one that I have been dreading all season and for the past 18 months. Today, the Ems will be playing their final game ever at Civic Stadium. I'm going to be leaving for the ballpark in a couple hours, and I wanted to shoot off a post about what's been going on with me and how I've been dealing with it.

It's funny how when the season began, this blog was supposed to be all about baseball. It was going to chronicle my Baseball Roadtrips across the country, specifically where I was going, what I was going to do, and what was next. This blog has become, instead, a passage of my life these past seven months. Baseball has become a very easy way for me to escape all the problems that I have been facing since the season began. All the stress, anxiety, depression, and anguish that I have been going through for the past 18 months always seemed to go away when I was at a baseball game. Things became clearer, purer, and simpler. Now the very structure which was the catalyst for everything I am passionate about is not going to be there for me next year.

It would be a fair assessment to say that I have spent half my life at that venerable old ballpark. I truly feel that through the experiences I went through there directly contributed to my maturation and development into the man I am today. So many memories were created and shared there with my family and friends. I saw my first baseball game there. I had my 8th grade graduation there. I had my first job there. I got my first kiss there. These are memories that I will never forget and will always have great appreciation for.

Last night, I had the very unique opportunity to be interviewed by the Emeralds radio broadcaster, Chris Fisher, about my experiences at Civic Stadium and my travels across this country. During the interview, I came to a realization that Civic Stadium was always my comparison. The backbone for all the grading and critique I do on all these parks I visit. Be it Greensboro or Vancouver, they were all compared to Civic. In the interview, I stated that Civic Stadium was the best place in the country to see a baseball game, period. I will stick by that creedo even after Civic's demise. I also talked about the unique passion that Ems fans here in Eugene possess, the stability of the organization, and if I were to go to games at PK Park next year.

Here is the tentative plan for today's final game. I am scheduled to work a picnic, and I will report to work at around 1:30pm. However, before that, I am going to get to the stadium a little early and tour the grounds one last time taking many, many pictures, taping some movies and soaking in what has become a second home to me for many years. There is scheduled to be a brief pregame ceremony with the President of the Emeralds organization, Bob Beban, Emeralds manager Greg Riddoch, and a few other notable Emeralds alumni. After the game, they are going to let people onto the field to browse and reflect.

As for me, when the game is over, I will write in magic marker on my seat my name and the dates which I attended games, 1995-2009. I will go onto the field and I plan on just walking around and gathering my thoughts. I'm going to try and acquire a couple of the numbers from the scoreboard to keep as mementos of the ballpark. Again, I will be taking many, many pictures during all of this. Something like this needs to be documented and kept.

I'm going to try very hard and keep my emotions in check during all of this. I have cried a lot these last couple days and today probably will be no different. I will post after the game.

Always take on a 3-0 pitch ;)

Final Thoughts on SFO

Greetings!

As usual, I wanted to bring up some summation points about my recent trip to San Francisco and what lies ahead for this week.

To start out, I adore San Francisco. I truly feel that with Portland, San Francisco would be the only big city I could ever live in. However, to be specific, I would only live in the downtown core and not in the suburbs. The immediate area surrounding downtown reminded almost of a very large Vancouver, BC with it's easy layout and density of population. It was dirtier than Vancouver and there was it's fair share of beggars and vagrants, but overall, I really do dig San Francisco. Even with the unpredictable weather, I would like to live there, maybe, someday.

AT&T Park is a fine venue that has a lot of neat perks and quirks that really appeal to me. The location is fabulous for alternative modes of transportation and it is easy to get to as a result. The ballpark can get a little cold, but you just have to prepare for it. It is a bit expensive, though, but that is to be expected in a city that is expensive as a whole. If I do have one complaint, it would be of the annoying female announcer they have. She is way too partial to the home team and she can get down right obnoxious with her loud voice.

I am not fond of the fans that go to those games. I find Giants fans to be very snobby, uptight, and ignorant. They just think they are better than everyone else at everything, and they're wrong. They are still very supportive of Barry Bonds as evident by all the Bonds' jerseys running around the park. You get the feeling that they are naive on top of all that I said before. People like that, I feel, detract a lot from the game as a whole. They lack humility and are the catalysts for failing organizations and turn away dedicated fans, like myself.

The two games I saw were the best pitched games I have ever seen. The Giants pitching staff is incredible and they seem to thrive in pressure situations. They could get the big outs when they needed to and were effective into the late innings. This Giants team can be a very dangerous squad if they make the playoffs. I'd keep my eye out for this team the rest of this year and for the foreseeable future.

This week is going to be very emotional for me. The Ems begin their final home stand ever at Civic Stadium on Tuesday. I get very emotional when I start to think of that last game, and I don't really want to talk about it at this time. I will take lots and lots of pictures these next few days and I will post them on the Internet. In addition, I'm going to try my hand at making a video showing a tribute to the stadium. I have a small video camera that I used for high jumping that has been sitting in my drawer for a long time. I'll bring it out and try and document as best I can what the stadium means to me and to this community.

I will most certainly update this blog after the last game on Thursday. It may take some time to get my feelings straight, but I will certainly try to update as soon as I can. This whole situation cuts me very, very deep and I don't know how I will take it. Luckily, I am here with my family and I know they will support me now matter what. It is a day that I have always wished wouldn't come, but now it will.

This trip down to San Francisco was a lot of fun on many levels. I got to see some friends, hung out with my Mom and Dad, and hit up some great baseball games. It is unfortunate that the joy I felt will be so short-lived. This blog will allow me, and all of you, to remember all the good times from this summer and divert our thoughts from the impending storm on Thursday.

Talk to you all soon.

Always take on a 3-0 pitch ;)

The Rock and Baseball

Hey boys and girls!

Day two here in San Francisco is complete. It was a very long day, but it was very fun.

Waking up at 0515, we drove to the Aquatic Park to see my mom participate in the famous Swim from Alcatraz. She was pretty nervous last night and even into this morning, but she did just fine. She traversed the 1.25 mile swim from Alcatraz to Aquatic Park in just about an hour.

While watching all the swimmers come in, I have made the decision to do the swim myself next summer. Most of the swimmers were older people that looked out of shape. Heck, if they can do it, I certainly can. And, besides, it gives me an excuse to come down for some baseball games.

We came back to the hotel and took some much needed naps. The plan was to get on the BART train back into town and ride cable cars. The Cable Car turn around was right next to the Aquatic Park, and it was so tempting to just jump on board when we were there. They are so intriguing and they are so representative of San Francisco. They're an icon.

When we got to the BART station, the plan was shot down. For some reason, BART is so much more expensive than all other transportation into San Francisco? It would have cost my family and I almost 40 bucks to ride into the Embarcadero Station. I suggested we just drive into the city, but after waiting for the shuttle and finally getting back here to the hotel, we just didn't have the time I wanted. I was kind of disappointed.

We drove into the city and my folks dropped me off at the ballpark. On the way, I was waffling on whether or not to bring my jacket. Last night, it was eighty degrees when the game got over, and bringing my jacket was such a pain in the butt. Tonight, however, I remembered my words of wisdom from the blog posting from last night about the unpredictable nature of San Francisco whether, and brought my jacket. It was a smart idea because the wind whipped up, the fog rolled in, and the temperature dropped considerably.

After sitting in the rich people section last night, I migrated to the cheap bleacher seats in left field. This was a very different experience, but same results. There was more diversity in the clientele of the spectators, but they still had the superiority complex. The spectators sitting there showed up late, left early, and were back-and-forth getting beer. It drove me crazy. I met up with a friend, Chana, who works for the Giants, and when I told her about what I had garnered, she was not surprised at all. For being such a beautiful ballpark, the fans there really degrade it a lot.

The Giants, for the second night in a row, got stellar starting pitching, this time by Barry Zito, to drop the Rockies 5-3 and move to within a game of tying the Rockies for the wild card lead. Pablo "Kung Fu Panda" Sandoval homered, for the second straight night, on a splash hit to McCovey Cove. Giants are playing really good ball due to their excellent starting pitching. If they make into the playoffs, they're going to be a dangerous team, especially if their bats heat up.

Tomorrow, it is back to Oregon. When we get back, I will sum up this trip with a Final Thoughts entry.

Always take on a 3-0 pitch ;)

The Freak was Freaky

Greetings from the City by the Bay!

After a very long day of travel, I'm pumping out this blog post before turning in for the night.

My parents and I woke up at 4am and were on the road shortly thereafter. We didn't make any stops until getting into San Francisco. We were all very hungry, so I got a hold of my old roommate and we met up with him and our mutual friend at the famous Crissy Field beach for some lunch.

When packing for this trip, I remember what happened the last time I came to San Francisco for a game. I froze my bottom off. As a result, for this trip, I packed long sleeve shirts, jeans, and my big, thick Letterman's jacket. Well, today in San Francisco, it was eighty degrees with brilliant sunshine. The weather here is so unpredictable. In the times I've come, it's been hot, cold, hot. All I know is I was getting really tired of dragging around my big jacket and jeans around the city.

I took the opportunity to go swimming on the beautiful beach with my friends at Crissy Field. It is a white sandy beach that is in the shadow of the Golden Gate Bridge. Surprisingly, I found the bay water to be pretty warm, but very, very salty. I'm not used to swimming in the ocean, so when I first jumped in and the salt hit my lips it was kind of a shock.

The beach was incredibly crowded with adults, children, dogs, and the occasional sea lion venturing into the shallows. It also attracted the thieves. While Bret, Andrew, and myself were swimming, my parents uncovered three men trying to break into a car right in the middle of the main parking lot in broad daylight. My parents phoned in the police and we got to see the SFPD spring into action.

Then it was off to the park. I had been to AT&T Park numerous times before, and I must say that I really do like it. It is set on the water and the view is incredible, especially from the upper deck. The criss-crossing of container ships and the beautiful setting of the bare, brown hills is very pristine. I do have one complaint, and it is not about the park. It is about the fans.

At all levels of the Giants organization, I have found their fans to exude a seemingly heir of superiority over everyone else. Let me explain...I was seated in a section amidst a lot of season ticket holders. I'm usually very giddy with this type of situation as I am usually showered with lots of attention and praise for my concepts of the Baseball Roadtrips. Season ticket holders are usually the first ones to boast about their park, their team, and why they hold season tickets. The stories you here from these people are very interesting, to say the least. The fans I sat next to were very nice, but they seemed very preoccupied with themselves and you kind of got the vibe that they were better than you. When I realized where I was sitting, I introduced myself, told them what I was doing in San Francisco, and what I thought of their park, but it seemed like they didn't really care. It made for an almost awkward evening.

This series I am going to has a "playoff-like" feel to it. The fans are super into the games, as well as the players. This is my first exposure to this type of play since last year's failed pennant run that the Emeralds put together. It, also, had the effect of creating a lot of drunk and obnoxious fans. Couple that with the arrogance of the season ticket holders, it, again, kinda made for a sour experience through no fault of the park.

As for the game, it was quite a show. I was eagerly looking forward to seeing Tim Lincecum pitch, and he didn't disappoint. Lincecum went 8 complete innings of shutout ball while striking out 8 as the Giants took game one of the series 2-0. He was simply dominant through the entire game. The Rockies simply didn't have a shot of scoring against him as 6 of his 8 strikeouts were swinging. It was the most brilliant pitching performance I had ever seen. I can see why he has been dubbed the nickname "The Freak".

Tomorrow, we are all waking up early and driving back into San Francisco to see my mom do the famous "Swim from Alcatraz". Here is how it works: the participants will board a ferry at 9am and sail to within 100 yards of the island. From there, they open up the doors, everyone jumps in, and starts to swim back to the city. It is a 1.25 mile swim that has variable currents, cold water temperatures, and interesting wildlife. My mom is a little freaked out about the whole thing, but I think they call those the jitters. I know she'll do fine, and, in fact, I am very interested in possibly doing the swim myself next year. I'm going to see what she has to say about it before I make any decisions.

After the swim, I'm meeting up with Bret and we're gonna tour San Francisco. To tell you the truth, I kind of just want to ride the Cable Cars. They look like a ton of fun and I just absolutely love them! I'll chill in the city until the game starts later that evening.

Talk to you all tomorrow!

Always take on a 3-0 pitch ;)

Baseball *DING DING* The San Francisco Treat

Hello again boys and girls!

I hope you're all doing better today after the shock and disappointment from the news earlier this week. I know that it has been very hard to come to terms with this reality and that it will take a long time for me to get over this feeling. I'm sure many of you feel the same way too.

On a much, much lighter note, tomorrow morning my parents and I are leaving for San Francisco. I plan on going to the first two games of the Rockies-Giants series at AT&T Park in San Francisco. As many of you are aware, both these teams are fighting for the National League Wild Card, so I am expecting two very good and hard-fought games. NL Cy Young Award Tim Lincecum is slated to take the mound for the Giants on Friday.

I will also be watching my mom do the Swim from Alcatraz on Saturday morning. She has been training for this event for a very long time, and she is incredibly excited for the chance to do this unique event. She is nervous about the sea lions and the sharks, though.

As always, I will be taking the computer along to update the blog. I will also be updating the Twitter page very frequently and my Facebook as often as I can.

Always take on a 3-0 pitch ;)