Saying a Goodbye is the Hardest Thing Ever

Hello again followers!

I am going to be going up to Portland tomorrow for my last Beavers game of the season. Hopefully the rain will hold off and I'll get to see the Beavos for one more time before the end of the season.

A lot of you have been contacting me as to how I'm doing after Thursday's events at Civic Stadium. To put it mildly, it has been very, very difficult for me these past 48 hours. I have cried a lot and I have been super depressed. I haven't been sleeping a lot, and my mind has been racing through waves of anguish, depression, anger, vengeance, and confusion. I'm at such such a critical crossroads in my life, and this situation isn't helping with my coping. My family has been doing a wonderful job in helping me through this very difficult event, and I know that these deep feelings will eventually subside. This blog is helping me write down and vent a lot of my feelings, so I hope you all don't mind.

My mom gave me an excellent idea that I will start tomorrow. She has created a sort of journal listing every memory she has had from Civic. I'm going to do the same. I know I said I would make a tribute video, but I think this is a little more personal. I also think that it will help in my healing.

I deeply appreciate all of your support during all of this. I would not be able to keep going without all of the love and support from all of you, my family and friends. This whole thing is bigger than the game of baseball, and I am deeply grateful for all that you have done for me.

Always take on a 3-0 pitch ;)